there are so many posts about wanting certain things from stories
'a female villain not motivated by men or by hating other girls'
'a situation where it's the man who doesn't know how to use a gun and a female character has to teach him/deal with his lack of knowledge'
'male character likes traditionally feminine things and isn't shamed for it'
artemis fowl is literally all of that
that thing exists
Sometimes when people ask me what my favorite children’s book was I’m like oh yes Artemis Fowl it was so smart it was a series about fairies and a criminal mastermind and he was a kid and he was so smart and he was a villain who goes through a magical journey through character development but then I remember
Almost everyone’s name was a pun. Holly Short. Was the shortest fairy. Artemis Fowl. He’s an asshole. He has a butler. His name was Butler. MULCH DIGGUMS. WOULD DIG. AND HE FARTED HIS WAY. INTO VICTORY.
HOW ARE THESE BOOKS REAL.
- Me (in disbelief that these books existed)
pipabeth ploopin through. piper wears lame artemis fowl t-shirts
me to my sister: artemis and holly accidentally switched eyes once … yes, they accidentally switched eyes.
YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE.
a lot of the artemis fowl tag is made up of posts asking if theres an artemis fowl fandom
butler gets to keep his parking place for another month
“Earth,” he began, ignoring the impulse to open his notes folder and count the words. He knew this lecture by heart.
“Our home. She feeds us, she shelters us. Her gravity prevents us from flying off into space and freezing, before thawing out again and being crisped by the sun, none of which really matters, as we would have long since asphyxiated.” Artemis paused for laughter and was surprised when it did not arrive. “That was a little joke. I read in a presentation manual that a joke often serves to break the ice. And I actually worked icebreaking into the joke, so there were layers to my humor.”
- Eoin Colfer (The Atlantis Complex)
eponymous male book protags with black hair and nice eyes.
Anonymous said: *pats your face gently*
*locates you via your IP address and issues a restraining order, gently*
“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”